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Semoga Bahagia Selalu,Sihat dan Kaya. Ameen ya Rabbal Alameen.Sayang Shikin ....

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Hey Faznasha,
 
   Unless you've been living under a rock, you are bound
to have disagreements with people now and then. But it's 
important to be able to assert your own position without 
getting ensnared in a petty argument.
 
   If you're curious about the best way to disagree with 
someone without harming the relationship, here are six 
tips that you can start applying immediately...
 
   1. Never Argue With a Fool
 
   One of the most important ways to disagree with 
someone without causing an argument, is to simply avoid 
interactions with people who argue just to argue. In 
other words, if you can tell that someone is wasting a 
contrary opinion simply for the sake of engaging you in a 
debate, don't waste your time. Simply acknowledge your 
own disagreement in the silence of your heart and  move
on.
 
   People are seldom if ever persuaded by debating, and 
engaging someone who "just likes to debate" sets you on 
the same juvenile level as them. There's an old saying 
that goes "Never argue with a fool because people 
watching from a distance may not be able to tell the 
difference." Remember this the next time someone 
disagrees with you, and choose your battles accordingly
 
   2. Focus On Understanding First
 
   Most of the time, when someone seems to be arguing 
with you all they're trying to do is get you to understand
their point of view. The problem is that many of us get 
confused and think that if we affirm to someone that we 
understand them, that we are somehow agreeing with them.
But the moment you begin to focus on understanding 
someone, and demonstrating to them that you understand 
them, they'll be much more likely to respect you...even 
if you disagree.  
 
If this happens, they might even be persuaded to your 
point of view!
 
   3. Value the Truth Above All
 
   Sometimes, disagreeing with a person is not the best 
course of action. After all, there will be times when you 
are wrong and the other person is right...but your pride 
simply keeps you from admitting that you're wrong. The 
next time you find yourself in a discussion where you 
seemed to be disagreeing with the person, switch your 
focus and concentrate on making the point of the 
discussion a search for what's true.
 
   You never know what you might learn if you just learn 
to listen and focus on truth instead of on your opinion 
or the other person's opinion.
 
   4. Offer Your Opinion as "Food for Thought"
 
   Instead of offering your opinion as being counter to 
the other person's, offer it as "something to think 
about" instead. This can be a very effective way of 
presenting your opinion without offending someone. For 
instance, if someone tells you that their interpretation 
of something is _____, offer your view by saying something
like: "That's an interesting point, but here's something 
else to think about..."
 
   This way, you're affirming their viewpoints before 
suggesting yours, and you're suggesting it as a question 
instead of the statement of truth.
 
   5. Watch Your Tone
 
   Everyone knows that the tone in which you say 
something speaks volumes and that it's sometimes more than
the statement itself. Since it can be very difficult to
read whether or not there is judgment, agitation, anger or
arrogance in your voice, practice recording yourself 
while you're talking about something that you strongly 
disagree with.
 
   Really take the time to describe why you disagree with 
it, and listen to the recording after you're done. You 
might be surprised at what kinds of hidden messages there
are in the tone of your voice. You'll also be much 
quicker to correct your tone and to speak with respect to 
people, even when you're disagreeing with them.
 
   6. Know Your Motives
 
   This is probably the most important thing you can do 
when it comes to relating with people that you disagree
with: know your motives. Really stop and ask yourself 
whether you are disagreeing with the person or if you're 
simply trying to be heard and understood. Most of the 
time, people will continue to voice opposing opinions if
they don't feel that they are being heard.
 
   If they continue to feel that they're not being heard 
or understood, they sometimes start belittling the other 
person's viewpoints just to "get back at them." So really 
search yourself and find out whether or not you are 
voicing your opinion for the sake of contributing to the 
interaction, or if you're just wanting someone to hear 
you and understand you.
 
   TIP: If you have strong opinions which are getting you 
into arguments with other people, it might be a good idea 
to find out why you feel so strongly about them. Most 
often defensiveness towards others is due to inner 
conflict. Working these kinds of things out can make your
interactions with other people much better.
 
   Did you know you could be using subliminal messages to
help free yourself from thinking patterns that are holding
you back in life? Check out Subliminal MP3s:
 
   http://www.the-secret-dvd.net/go/subliminalmp3s.html
 
To your success,
 
Mike David  
Editor, 

:)sayangi diri anda...salam sayang..sayang selalu....Shikin berkongsi bukan untuk dinilai atau dikeji...ikhlas luahan hati Sayang Shikin

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Ya Allah ...makhbulkanlah impianku.

Ya Allah ...makhbulkanlah impianku.
Ya Allah Kurniakanlah kerinduan untuk bertemu dengan Mu dan kenikmatan memandang wajahMU. Pandanglah aku hambaMu yang hina ini. Ya ArhamarrRohim.Amin Ya Robbal Alamin..in